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All-Day Anticipation
Saturday, May 17, 2014 * : Oh, me invisible Pen 'azubando pillow, you know I well deserved this rest. An' now let's see wot's on the telly right now. [She turns on the TV. What's on is an American football game going on as indistinguishable English words are being spoken.] * : Me watchin' a game o' Yankee rugby? Thet'll sure get 'im all excited ... Now thet I've got ready, I ne'er want to leave this bed. * : Mummy! * : Comin' down! * : Wot's the ma'er, girl? * : Would you like to play tea party with me? [She has the whole table and chairs set up.] * : O' course, 'o wouldn't wan' to drink the Queen's be'erage with 'er eight-year-ol' daughter? * : How about a mother who just doesn't care and would rather watch TV! * : Right. Well, I shall allow meself to sit on this lump of furs an' boae. * : No, wait! *'Voice': Don't stab me! * : Qal, is thet'ee? * : Yes, thank you for finding me! Meanie Bobeenie Mona made me do this! [He gets up and runs to his room.] * : FREEDOMMMMMMM! Wait, that makes me sound dumb. FREESMARRRRRRRRRT! * : I guess I've got to go to me room! * : No, wait! Can you hold on? For, like, one more day or something! * : Think, Penc-penc. 'Ow long will'e take? [Time lapse with Ximena playing tea party with Pencil.] * : Thank you fer th' invitation. Now, I shall go upstairs. [She tries to go upstairs, but gets hit with a basketball.] * : Wot'n'ale ... 'O threw this? * : Sorry, that was me. * : Avi and I are playing basketball! * : Rather ironic. I'd ne'er think'ee'd play sport, much less fer fun. * : Oh, that's because we're playing math basketball. Or mathsketball! * : You cursewording bleep hole! I told you never to say that again! * : Wote'er, jus' as the ball don't end upstairs. Oi, an' where's ther 'oop anyways? * : Next to the front door. * : I'll be upstairs if'ee needs me. * : Someone get the door e'en though there's probably someone 'ere! * : It's Dad! * : Aye, finally 'e's come 'ome. Football, check. Phone alarm an' other annoyin' noises off, check. Republic, Czech. [A few seconds later.] * : Oi, Pen, where are'ee? * : Coming! [Enter Pen with Sio.] * : Hey, Mum! * : We just made the perfect cake for Ancestry Day at Sio's school! * : And I might have or might have not eaten it! * : Yeah. I had Dad cut out the shape of Greece and its islands! * : Now people won't give him dirty looks when he says "Get your hands off my Aegina!" * : Aye, thet's the reason. But now I'm jus' really tired an' all an' I've got to get my alone time. * : Suit yourself! * : Must be ubutu. * : Oh, an' honey? Please stay up 'ere wi' me, you'll ne'er guess wot I've got on screen. * : Okay. Hey, are you watching football? * : Aye, thought'ee'd like to get excited. * : Dude, how can I not get excited? This is Fries' sport.Read IDFB 1's review if you want to know what I mean. * : [seeing the TV] Omg, they're ticklin' each other! * : You mean tackling? * : I still like'e. * : Aww, so do I! [There is a knock on the door.] * : Dad, we need your help. * : What is it? * : Do you have any hydrogen phosphate in the house? * : Why? * : It's for my chemistry project. * : Chemistry? I thought you were in biology! * : I am, it's just that Mr. Tally wants us to learn what we're up for next year. * : And I'm helping 'cause I want to see it explode! * : Zorah, it's not going to explode … without the help of more people. * : Doesn't look like we have any hydrogen phosphate here. * : An' why'd'ee need more people? D'ye really trus' th' others in 'elpin'ee out with chemistry? * : How rude! [Exit Zorah and Saye.] * : Finally, we can get somethin' done! [The phone rings.] * : Hullo. * : [on the other side] Omg, Penc-penc, you've got to come here! * : Match, where are'ee? * : Would you like to be invited to, like, this new short-time hotel on Honshu Drive? * : Short-time 'otel? * : I'll explain once you, like, get there. But you've got to come here! * : Okay … * : Oh, and bring Pen! * : I'll go do thet! [She hangs up. Suddenly, Sio goes upstairs.] * : Oi, kid. * : What's up? * : Oh, y'know, I just came to tell you, Mum, that you forgot to say goodbye on the phone again. * : Thet's nice. * : Thank you! [Exit Sio.] * : Why would she want me to go? * : I don' know. But we're goin', mus' get us away from the stress! * : But we need a babysitter for the kids. Can you imagine what will happen if we leave the house with the kids home alone? * : Aye, let's call Match again! 'Ope she ain't too needy. [She resists getting slapped.] * : [on the phone] Hello, Match? [She's not answering. Pencil hangs up.] * : Not there? * : Nope. * : How about Needle? * : No, she's on 'oliday. * : Man, that's exactly what we need. * : I agree. * : I mean, don't you know how stressful my day has been? At work someone spammed my e-mails with quotes from The Rotters' Club. It took me 51 minutes to read it, and that was just one sentence. * : Well, don't'ee know 'ow stressful my day's been? I've been playin' tea parties, got 'it in ther 'ead with a basketball, an' now … now I see why we need an 'oliday. We're a-goin' whether we like'e er not, y'wi' me, Pen? * : Yes, I am with you! * : Goodbye, children. * : Where are you going? * : We're goin' on 'oliday. * : [excited] We are? * : Actually, just me and your mother. * : Oh, I see. You're going on a "date", eh? * : Well … * : Yeah. * : I suppose you could call it that. * : We'll be back a' ten in the mornin', tomorrow. * : Scratch that, make it noon. * : So from now to noon tomorrow, we'll be all alone? * : Aye, no one can make it 'ere. * : Ain't that a shame. * : I guess we should be a-leavin' now. * : No! Please don't go away, I'll miss you! * : Yeah, who's going to play tea party? * : Until noon, Saye's in charge. * : I'm … in charge?! YES! I'm finally in charge of this house! Everyone, say goodbye to Mum and Dad. [They don't listen.] * : Don't be afraid to use any of my leadership strategies while we're gone. [They leave. A.R.I.] * : Alright, now that they're gone … quit your whining! * : It's just … they're gone and we're here! Why can't we go with them? * : Saye, permission to tell him about the * : No! * : QR, you've got nine siblings who can make you feel better! Well, eight … Chavo is … * : Is what, huh, Avi? I'm what do you 'ave to call me? * : I- I was just saying that [The doorbell rings.] * : Ooh, the girls are here! Go forth and watch TV or something while they'll help me. [The group disperses. Enter Chocolatey, Popsicley, Boat and Glamour.] * : Omg, hi, everyone! Come in, please! * ; So, I've come up with a plan for our project that you might love! * : I quite like the sound of us actually working for once! But why'd you bring Glamour with you? * : Chocolatey invited me here for the par * : ticle rearrangement project! * : Glamour, do you have any experience in chemistry? * : Duh! I've taken that class two times, y'know. * : Okay, you may sit wherever you want! * : Okay, I am bored. [She sits down.] * : Wait, don't sit th * : Ow! * : What the hell? [QR reveals himself under the sofa.] * : Don't use those words in this house! * : QR, up, please! [Exit Qalam-Rassas.] * : Meet the Zuzzlebars is on? Are you harbouring babies in this grill? * : Well ... * : Never mind, I'm bored now. * : [to Chocolatey] Seriously? * : She was a good touch, no? * : Why did we all come here again? * : I don't know, because Saye's a jerkbutt? * : You mean "jerkas * : Ssh, not in front of the baby! * : Goo! * : [walking around in circles] Butter original, garlic, white cheddar, sour cream and onion, harvest cheddar, spicy Korean barbecue, caramel, spicy chili … * : Girl, you got problems. * : What, is it unrealistic for a third grader to list random food items? * : I can't help it, I'm so hungry! Lallie, can I * : No! * : She has food? * : Like, I don't know, any seasonings for the popcorn? * : Oh yeah, she does. She stashes them under her bed so she can eat them when we sleep. * : You guys, I don't care! * : You will when my staleness spell works on you! * : Why can't we just go outside and get some food? * : Hmm, I don't know, Javier, why we shouldn't just get some food, Javier. * : I don't want to go alone, there are girls out there! * : I can't believe I'm saying this, but don't worry. Because they are older than you, just pretend they're your aunts. * : And … sisters and cousins? * : Whatever. [Enter Qalam-Rassas with popcorn seasonings.] * : Hey, guys! I got the stuff! * : How did you disappear and then come back again? * : Easy! I'm seven years old, and besides, those old people can't stand a chance. You should have heard them jibber jabber! * : Hey, Saye! * : What do you want? We're terribly busy working. * : You're on your phones! * : That's because it's a phone assignment! * : Wait, no! It isn't a * : Shh! * : Hey, don't you have to go to your room and think about what you've done? * : Does your mother know you steal her lines? * : Ooh, snap! [pause] But seriously, we're busy and you're not. So do get out! * : And that is how popcorn saved my life! * : Great story, bro. [She puts her headphones to her head.] * : Now, if you excuse me, I've got my anime theme song playlist I've, like, totally got to hear. * : Hey, what's the element with the atomic number 70? * : Wouldn't that be … * : Oh, I know! * : Don't tell me! Isn't it * : ENOUGH! * : Huh? * : What the fridge? * : I can't stand you talking all boring! Are we going to party or what? * : Party? * : Oh yeah, I forgot. * : And you didn't tell us? * : Oh, Saye, don't be a party pooper! * : How can I be a party pooper if there's no party! * : Good point! [The other kids watch from the door.] * : What's going on? * : Things are getting pretty intense! * : Are they going to kill each other? * : Oyamaa, if they kill each other I'll actually have something to tweet about! * : Oi, go back to your Korean music! * : It's Japanese, get your facts right! [Meanwhile.] * : Why did you even come here if you were going to throw a party? * : Chocolatey invited me here for "chemistry". * : Chemistry? * : Okay, the truth is that … I've come for romance advice. *'All': For who? * : m? What, I like to ask in a gramatically correct manner. * : Chocolatey, of course! She has a date today and she really needs me, so when she called me over for chemistry, I thought it was for school work, which is why I didn't come despite seeing what you're doing, and coming over that * : Wait, like, Chocolatey has a date? Is this Hot Dog? * : No''t that you were asking. * : Guys, I'm really sorry I kept this house closed. Apology slap? * : Sure! I really needy that! [''She gets slapped by Needle's hand from far away. There is a knock on the door, and Glamour opens it. It's Glamour's friends.] }} * : Girls, I have invited you all here. * : Good. * : Are we late? * : No, we need to talk. [Later.] * : What are they saying? It's too faint to hear! Avi, you have awesome dictation skills, tell us what they're saying. * : Well, it appears that they're setting up a perfect date for Chocolatey and Hot Dog right in this house. * : Girls are boring, all they talk about is boys. * : But that just isn't true! * : Yeah, some of us talk about ruling the world by evil! [They all look at her.] * : What, don't you guys have the same dream? * : Alright, it looks like more people are coming in. [On the other side of the door, people are coming into the house.] * : They're late! * : Calm down, the services don't start until, like, 8 PM! * : Which is? * : In thirty seconds. [Enter Pencil and Pen.] * : [almost out of breath] Pen, I thought this place was easy to walk to. * : It is. * : Easy fer'ee to says! This is another part o' the world fer me! * : You're just not trying hard enough. * : Oi, I 'aven' los' th' energy to slap you! [Match and Eraser see them.] * : Hey, guys. * : Match! * : Eraser! * : Okay, so, like, to review the rules, each couple rents out a room. Cell phones, cameras, videophones are not allowed without the consent of the owners and private proprietors according to Code 521 of the West African Expatriates' Citizens Board, accurate to 2007. * : 'Ow'd'ye know all this stuff? * : She goes here every Saturday night, usually with someone different. * : That is so not true, I go every other Saturday night! * : Lies! * : Wow, way to ruin a joke, Eraser. * : Sorry not sorry. Besides, that wasn't even funny! * : Finally, I'm not the unfunny one here! * : Yes, you still, like, are. * : Aye, m8. * : How about we do what we're supposed to do and go in, huh? * : Suit your totally freakazoid self. * : Someone should go out and stop her! * : We can't do that, they made a sign saying "No babies allowed!" * : That's what it said? I thought it said "No Babs allowed!" * : Who's Babs? * : Who cares about the outside party, if they want J-pop it's all in here. [An Japanese pop song from the 1990s plays.] * : Omg, omg, omg! [she looks out the door] Someone should go out and stop her. [They all look at her.] * : Fine, I'll do it. [Exit Citlali. She gets stopped by Pretty.] * : Freeze! * : Huh? * : How old are you? * : Eleven thousand! * : Okay, come in! [She sees Zane, the wacky kid Saye may have a crush on.] * : Hey, why are they playing Japanese pop music? * : Huh? Wait, hey! You're Saye's little sister! * : I may be little, but I have a bigger * : KID! KID! KID! KID! KID! [Many people start booing.] * : No one plays old J-Pop songs without me! [The boos get so loud that she is forced to retreat back into her room. In the girls' room …] * : Ha ha, you got booed! * : I- I've never been so badly criticised in my life … [Meanwhile.] * : OMNS, Saye, this party is totally thot! Lol! #Bae #yass #af … * : Okay, you can stop using the most popular words in Internetese. * : What's wrong, Saye? * : I'm worried. How will my Mum and Dad react to all this? * : Come on, this party is totally thot! * : You said that already. * : But I've decided to come out of my shell, right here, right now. [Suddenly two boys appear.] * : Boys, carry me to the throwing table. [They walk away, carrying her.] * : Thot! * : Saye, you're just not in the party mood! * : I'm serious, like, what if they get home and see what these people did to this house? What are they going to say? * : This place is terrible! [Zoom out to the hotel's interior. It is in bad quality.] * : Shh, don't say that out loud. Every compliment equals one discount at this joint. * : Pen's right, this place looks as if'e 'asn' been touched since 1925. * : It's actually 1924. Some people left a pamphlet about it, like, last time in Room H! * : Whatever, let's just go with the blow flow. * : Yeah, Eraser. Popularity bound will we end up tonight! * : I'll go up and pay … and not throw up. * : Remember the compliments, bro. Free moneys! * : I was talking about your bad puns! * : Ayyyyyyyyyyyy … no one else? * : Omg, Penc-penc, are you worried? * : Why'd I been worried? * : You're carrying a sign that, like, says, "I'm worried". * : A sign, eh? I haven't seen one of those since I recapped BFDI!XVIII 0937 * : May be mother's intuition, but I feel thet Saye's worried o' somethin'. * : Oh, come on, Penc-penc, like, it's not like she's throwing a wild teen party or anything! * : I know, but I can feel me daughter's emotions er somethin'. [Pen returns.] * : I just paid up, and they dropped the price to 4 shillings for all of us! * : Did you, like, compliment them? * : Oh yeah, I did. * : Did th' owner fall in love with'ee? * : Oh yeah, he did. Said's never seen such a perfect specimen of object in the ninety years of this business! * : But * : Yeah, I know. I'm perfect. [They walk to their rooms.] * : Pen, I've got a problem. I feel like Saye's a-throwin' a party! * : What? … That must be, like, mother's indigestion or whatever it's called. Listen. If you've got a problem … [he winks at her] * : Oh, y'know I love when'ee does thet! * : So guys, what room are you staying in? * : Room P, that's fer both of us! * : We'll be in Room M, which is the room designated for me, myself, and that. * : Hey, I am not a that! I am thot. * : Oy vey … [They walk off.] * : Pen, I'm really worried, wot if she's really throwin' a party? * : Don't worry, Doctor P's going to fix your indigestion with a single … [Pencil slaps him] Ow! What the what? * : Hey, I don' think she's a-throwin' a party! * : No, she isn't … because we never disallowed it! Besides, what's the worst that could happen? * : No mess! * : Too bad they can't hear us. * : Sio, you and your friends are inventors! Maybe they can come over and help us! * : I'll try! [Later.] * : Hello, girls, I've come to see your … party. * : Brarf Gittereisen? * : The captain of our school's football team, you're here? * : Why would I be at the hottest party of … what's the year? 2014? [to his crew] Bros, hold my puka shells. I'm going in! [He runs inside, almost crashing into the wall.] * : Omg, he's so dreamy. * : Huh? * : What? Nothing! [She goes over to the boys.] * : So, boys, how're you liking the party? * : I didn't know you collect Pen Schreiber memorabilia, all organised on the shelf. * : Aye … he's my father. * : No way, that bro was legendary back in '08! I bet he met a lot of chicks on the way. * : Actually, we believe that he only stayed with o [The doorbell rings.] * : Coming! [Sio's friends are at the door.] * : You invited us over here? * : What? No! * : Lego, I told you this was the wrong house! * : Sorry! When I'm nervous, I often find myself in a completely different place! * : At least you had my help; otherwise, we would have been doomed. * : Ugh, Brarf! * : At your service! * : What do they do on the football team that makes them known as football players? * : Uh … uh … Don't tell me! * : It's in your team name … * : Oh! Foot! * : Are we allowed here or not? * : Get these nerds out of here! Pronto! [He kicks them all out.] * : Okay, now I think it's the wrong house. * : Oh, it's useless! I've tried every trick in the book and we'll never get out! * : Maybe we could use QR again … [he is sleeping] Or not. * : I have an idea! [She calls the police.] * : [intentionally breathing heavily] Help, help, police! Our house … is being raided … by these … evil teenagers! [Indistinguishable voices on the other end. She hangs up. Sio looks at her.] * : Huh? … Oh yeah. [She calls the police again.] * : Help, help, police! I forgot to say goodbye at the end of my call! * : Everyone, the police are here! * : THE POLICE HAVE COME! [Everyone screams and flees the house. A map of the area is shown with yellow dots representing the partygoers all leaving the house. Enter Coiny.] * : Wow, this wasn't a raid. This was a pillage. Anyone who was here twenty-five words ago, show yourselves! [No one appears. Suddenly, Coiny hears the kids knocking on the door. He opens it very easily.] * : You know the door was open the whole time. * : Sorry, we were just doing that for dramatic effect. * : Why? * : We got trapped in here when the teenagers came! * : Did you let them in? * : No. * : Omg, are we in trouble? * : Since it appears that the nine of you are victims, you are not in trouble. However, I will alert your parents. * : Uh, they can't speak English! * : Yeah, our mum is in one of her moods where she can speak every language except for English. * : That's not true! * : Shut the up. * : Ow, my ears! * : Good night, but actually keep the night good. [Exit Coiny. The kids come out of the closet.] * : I'm free! * : Finally, I don't have to breathe in other people's breaths … You can stare all you want! [Saye comes out of the pantry.] * : Hey guys, is the police gone? * : Pencil * : Camania * : Sayéne * : Schreiber * : JONES! *'Everyone': Jones?! * : Listen, I know I've acted like a jerk for the past few hours, but I'll make it up to you! You have to help me clean the house. * : What? * : We will not clean the house after what you did! * : Yeah, and do you really trust Salvador with a feather duster? * : Hold it! If you clean the house with me, I'll promise to do something for you all. * : Which is? * : I'll stop having Ximena from hogging the boys' bathroom at night. * : Then what's in it for me? * : I'll allow you girls to read my diary. * : Like, for realsies? Omg, I get to read Saye's diary again! * : Again? * : Hold the talking and get the cleaning, bozos! [Montage of them cleaning the house.] Sunday, May 18, 2014 * : Oh my gosh, I thought we did so well in cleaning last night! Why is the table still a mess? * : Never mind that, Mum and Dad are home! * : Holy curse word, I- I don't know what to do! * : We're going to be in so much trouble. [Ximena opens the door. She doesn't notice who is at the other end.] * : We are so sorry. * : You'd better be! * : Where's the party? * : Shells, Mi'a! You came … but you're late by approximately one night. * : Aww. * : How'd you even get here so fast! I thought you were back home! * : Oh, I was. But then I took the plane all the way from Frankfurt all the way to Maskat to Manila to Guangzhou to Addis Ababa! * : All this to help a friend get to a party? * : No, I just like helping the poor. * : Wait, what? * : Come on, guys, I need your help with cleaning this up. [Their mess near the chemistry table is now producing gas.] * : For who? * : My mum and dad, if they see this, they'll know that [Enter Pencil and Pen.] * : We're back! See, Penc, they even let the door open for us. * : Aye, I guess there was no party. Jus' a chemistry experiment. * : That … that's so true! There was a chemistry experiment! Yeah, Chocolatey and Hot Dog really hit it off last night. * : We're here for the chemistry! * : And now you're leaving. * : Leaving? After all we went through, I have to go back home, first starting in Addis Ababa! * : Well, Saye, I'm glad you had a great party last night. Bye! * : See you at school! [Exit Minola and Shelly.] * : Did I jus' 'ear 'et there was a party 'ere? * : No, you heard wrong! * : Your hearing organs must be all crazy after that love shack incident last night, eh? * : No, I swear I 'eard the word "party". * : Pencil Camania Sayéne Schreiber, was there a party … at this house? * : No! * : Yes there was! They had screaming kids and the entire football team and loud music … * : WHAT? * : [sigh] Bye bye, diary. * : You mean to say that you had a party with your school's football team? * : They called you legendary. * : Oh, I could have blown the roof off this place! Still young, still got it, and people should have seen how legendary I felt last night, just ask your mother. * : O''kay. * : We'd better go upstairs. * : For, like, forever. * : Good night! [''Exeunt omnes filii.] * : Should I be proud all of our kids basically grounded themselves? * : I don' know, I'm still sad o' missin' thet party. * : Room sweet room. * : Now I can finally listen to those anime theme songs! * : Good afternoon-night, girls. [She closes the curtains. Suddenly, a light snoring is heard.] * : What the hell? [She pulls off the blanket, and under it snoring is Glamour, who wakes up.] * : What, I was bored! THE END … Wait, no. Epilogue Eventually, by some way the parents find out that it was Saye who started the whole party and caused more of the mess than the other kids did so the other nine kids got lifted from their punishment. THE END Category:Episodes Category:New episode